Strength was measured by how much discomfort I could endure emotionally and mentally. The more I could endure, the stronger I was viewed…until I was seen as indestructible. I did not begin to refute the “strong black woman” label until I was in my late twenties. To me being viewed as indestructible felt like a mark of success.
I met Elisabeth more than ten years ago when we both lived in South Africa. It was through social media that we reconnected again and when the idea for this piece came about, Elisabeth was one of the first people that came to mind. As a black woman, I have come to the realisation that… Continue reading Our Ancestors Wildest Dreams: Elisabeth Tubajika
We can’t afford to wait for the world to be equal to start feeling seen. Michelle Obama In a system built to destroy you, joy is rebellion! My family arrived in a post-apartheid South Africa from a war torn Democratic Republic of Congo and the one thing I can always remember from those early years… Continue reading Our Ancestors Wildest Dreams: Intro
Another day, another name added to the ridiculously long list of women who have been brutally murdered in South Africa. Living in South Africa right now, particularly as a black woman is overwhelming. We have racist (and in some cases xenophobic) views to dismantle every day. There is a pandemic outside that is still raging… Continue reading Tired
I was in two minds about writing this post as I truly believe that while anger is a valid emotion, sometimes it is best to let the pot of boiling water cool down before you use it...did I just make up a proverb? As the Black Lives Matter movement gains global momentum, I have up… Continue reading Yeah, black lives matter but what about…
Growing up as a Congolese immigrant in South Africa, life wasn’t easy. People need to confront their xenophobia as much as they need to confront their racism (that’s a story for another day). For a long time I remember thinking ‘wow they like me,’ whenever a white person would say ‘you’re not like other black… Continue reading Dear White People…Pull up!
On the 18th of April 2020, I turned 30. I've been looking forward to this day for the past year. I don't know why. Perhaps it's the way we've been conditioned by society about the ages that represent growth, wisdom and responsibility: 21, 25, 30 and 40. Those were the ages that growing up, I… Continue reading 30, flirty & thriving
The smile on my face... plastered. How is lockdown going for you? Over the past three weeks, I have gone through ALL the emotions, and none of them have involved much productivity. There's a strange thought that started spreading across mainstream social media channels that this is a time to learn a new skill whether… Continue reading The New Normal
Are you ready for the only brownie recipe you will ever need? Because let me tell you my friends, THIS.IS.IT! There’s a time and place for ingredient restrictions, and calorie reduction... that time is not now. Diet culture has made us feel bad about our cravings, geez we’re humans. Sometimes we want chocolate, and chocolate… Continue reading One bowl triple-chocolate brownie recipe